Wednesday, November 28, 2007

What is the meaning of FRIEND

I never imagine that someone would say that "I was betrayed".
Never in my life would do such thing to betray a FRIEND.

betray: bi'trey
1. Reveal unintentionally
2. Deliver to an enemy by treachery
3. Disappoint, prove undependable to; abandon, forsake
4. Be sexually unfaithful to one's partner in marriage
5. Give away information about somebody

For just nonsense thing to me I didn't know that I betrayed my friend.
Maybe I was too insensitive. Maybe for me it's not a big deal. Yes it's not
a big deal to me the fact that it does not involve our friendship.

I just can't accept why would a friend used that word. I'm not a perfect person
nor an angel with a halo. I'm just MARO who also enjoys nonsensical things sometimes.

Do I really know what a friend is? I may have hurt you but never in my life want to betray a friend.
I love my friends... really.. someone can attest ( I hope so ) to this...

After hearing this word I can't help it but cried. Can't described the pain. I felt that I am such a loser.
I konw it is his right to get mad. But I just hope that he didn't use this word to me. I can accept the fact
that I hurt you but I cannot accept that I betrayed you. You've been part of my life especially when I'm down.
Do you think I'm capable of doing such thing that will let you go away?

I'm sorry for what I have done. I'm sorry if I hurted you but I cannot accept that I betrayed you.

God defend me from my friends; from my enemies I can defend myself.

Thursday, October 25, 2007


Did some shoot for my friends.

to be continued.........

Nathan's 6th birthday

Today is nathan's 6th birthday. No grand celebration coz he have class and Pie is in Ireland. His tatay gave him a birthday call this morning around 6am ( his wake up sched ). We're going to celebrate his birthday on saturday pero sa house lang ( to be safe! ). To you anak WE love you so much and I'm so happy to see you day by day....

Carlo's angels

I'm happy to see a simple smile from Carlo's face today. I can still see the pain pero at least he is better than the last time I saw him. We didn't have the chance to have a long talk with Carlo but before his interview someone asked him "Did you get any sign?" I'm not sure what kind of sign medyo 3 seats away kasi ako but then Carlo said he asked for it and he got a text message "a ringing tone" from smart and the song is "fallin" na sobrang na-touch ako... This is one of my favorite song and di ko natiis na medyo tumulo luha ko...

and this is the lyrics of the song:

our litle conversation
are turning into little sweet sensation
and they're only getting sweeter everytime

our friendly get togethers
are turning into visions of forever
if i just believe this foolish heart of mine

i can't pretend
that i'm just a friend
'cause i'm thinking maybe we were meant to be

i think i'm fallin', fallin' in love with you
and i don't, i don't know what to do
i'm afraid you'd turn away
but i'll say it anyway

i think i'm fallin... for you
i'm fallin' for you...

whenever we're together
wishing that goodbyes would turn to never
'cause with you is where i'll always wanna be
whenever i'm beside you
all i really wanna do is hold you
no one else but you has meant this much to me

i cant pretend
that i'm just a friend
'cause i'm thinking maybe we were meant to be

..the pain never truly goes away, it just gets smaller and condensed, tucked away in a corner somewhere in the deep recesses of the heart. There it remains at a constant low level ache, which with time may be overridden. There may be times when a site, a smell, a place, a song, an anniversary or birthday will trigger the old memories and the intensity of the grief and loss will return again. These feelings often arrive without warning and can be just as painful making one feel as though he/she was experiencing the loss anew.

You will embark on a fair sea,
and at times there will be fair weather, but not always.
You will meet storms and overcome them.
You will take it in turns to steer your boat through fair weather and foul. Never lose courage.
Save harbour awaits the end.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

A Letter from Carlo Cruz ( husband of Leslie )

Got an email from Carlo Cruz a friend of mine in Lawson. Take time to read and Pray for all the souls who died in that incident.

Let us continue to pray for Leslie and to those she left behind.

Subject: From Carlo Cruz

Good day everyone,

I wish I were writing under different circumstances.

I would like to inform you that my wife Leslie Cruz
was part of the casualties in the Glorietta 2 Mall
bombing in Makati City, Philippines. She was supposed
to have a minor out patient surgery at Makati Medical
Center at 230pm.

I had taken a leave from work to accompany her there.
We dropped off our daughter, Amber, at my parents
place in QC to babysit at around 10am. We then
proceeded to Makati and was there at 1230pm. Since she
had been fasting in preparation for her procedure, she
wanted to move around and listen to some music while I
grabbed a bite to eat. We parked at the basement of
Park Square 2, and headed for the Glorietta 2
entrance. We parted at the top of the escalator, she
turned right towards Filbar's while I went left
towards the restaurants. That was the last time I
would see her.

Around 120pm, she had called me so that we can meet at
the Glorietta 2 exit just in time to make her
appointment. As I made my way there from Glorietta 1
through the connecting hallways, and was about to turn
the corner, I heard 2 deep thumps and the shock-wave
from the blast hit me. At that moment my heart dropped
as I knew that the origin of the blast came from the
same place where we were supposed to meet. I tried
getting to where my wife was, but the dust was too
much and it was as if I was staring at a white wall.

I still tried to convince myself that she was able to
make it out, and that after ringing her mobile without
a response only meant that she dropped it in the
confusion. After 6 hours of searching from Makati Med.
to Ospital ng Makati, the blast site, and back again
to MMC - with the help of all the people I could get
hold of, that I was able to get confirmation in what
the state of my wife was.

My Dad and Uncle signaled me in from the ER of MMC. My
Uncle (who's a doctor) asked me to describe Leslie's
appearance to another group of doctors. I saw in the
eyes of one that the description made sense. Instead
of confirming it to me, they huddled together, then
brought me to a small examination room. It was only
through a digital camera that I was able to confirm
(and deny) that she was indeed gone.

I have so many regrets. I should have met her sooner.
I should have ran instead of a brisk walk. I should
have not chose to park where I did. I should have
braved the dust and went in the blast site. I should
have ...

Today's the 4th day. It is still terribly difficult to
breathe, let alone wake up realizing that your source
of strength, your best friend doesn't lie beside you
on your bed. That my deepest worry is when Amber
starts asking for her Mama.

I am glad that Amber's too young to understand the
loss and pain. In time I would like to tell her the
details of how her mother died, but more importantly I
would like to raise her as how her mother lived - a
loving person, strong willed, decisive, caring, and
nurturing. She has always cared for her family and
friends, and sacrfied her career for being a full time
mom and home maker.

As with all couples we had our ups and downs - none of
which I regret not going through. The sweet is never
as sweet without the sour. For almost 4 years of
marriage, we've finally hit our balance in life only
to be taken away in an instant. I have no regrets
about our marriage. She has loved me and Amber beyond
her capacity. I will always love her.

It is my first time to write to egroup as I've lurked
and watched emails being sent to and fro. All I want
now is that for each of the couples here is to cherish
each moment that we spend with our loved ones. Pretty
simple to say, very easy to take for granted.

Thank you all for the prayers. I would still like to
ask you to please include Leslie in them until her
40th day so that the path to God's kingdom is well lit
and she is no longer in the dark.


Carlo Cruz

Monday, October 22, 2007


After what happened to Carlo sobrang takot ako na di kami magkita... kaya miski di ako makatulog I always see to it na safe home si Pie sa condo nila... kung kaya ko lang hilahin ang araw para mag November 15 gagawin ko.... For the past three weeks na nasa Ireland sya sobrang abnormal ang araw ko... I can't even go to the market and buy foods to eat. Last sunday we spent the whole day in my sister's house... sobrang wala akong gana...

Hope that my day will be back to normal soon...

Gloriettta 2 bombing

This is not the first terrorist attack but then this is the first time where I really felt sadness in my heart. Aroung 1:45 pm October 19 my officemate/friend announce there was a bombing in Glorietta 2. I ignored it and continue with my work. After a few minutes one of my officemate announced that one of our officemate Carlo can't find his wife. I heard it but it didn't sinked in coz I'm really busy with my work but after a few minutes I stopped and I realized that Carlo's wife is missing coz they were at Glorietta 2 and there was a bombing at Glorietta 2. I grabbed my phone and gave Carlo a ring. "Hi Carlo. Anong nangyari?" that is the first word I asked Carlo... "Di ko makita si Leslie. We were supposed to meet at the entrance of Glorietta 2 kung saan yun bombing..." Carlo asked for our prayers na sana Leslie is safe. We called at the hospitals to check if Leslie was admitted and we also checked at the internet the list of names injured on the said bombing... Pero WALA... Every now and then I'm trying to call Carlo para malaman kung nakita ba nya si Leslie. after 4 hours wala pa din... around 7pm when I called Carlo he's really crying and I can't understand any single word from him. All I know is she can't find Leslie. I tried to listen to him and gave him some words that might help him to calm down. BUT HOW??? how can I help the person who can't find his wife? He ended up our call by saying "Sige Maro baka kasi tumatwag na si Leslie" after 10mins tumawag ulit ako... By this time he is calm but still blaming himself of what happened. While we were talking, I heard a voice coming to Carlo and said something... I didn't hear the exact words but Carlo shouted "Whaaatttt??? OH MY GOD!!! ............." and those words confirmed that Leslie died. I was shocked and didn't notice that Carlo hanged up the phone... Seconds bago nag sinked in sa akin na wala na si Leslie. I was driving and I stopped and cried out loud. Iba pala feeling pag may kilala ka na nakasama sa ganun na tragedy. I can't believe in an instant mawawala sya. Few hours ago before the bombing magksama pa sila.

I drive fast going home to see my kids and hug them.... Sobrang natakot ako na mawala mahal ko sa buhay... I wanted to hug Pie but then he's in Ireland. I just prayed and ask his grace to make us safe everyday and may we always have a happy life with each other.

May God bless all the soulds of the innocent died and may they find peace.

Condolences to Carlo and his family. God will always be there for you and for Amber. Just keep your faith and you'll never go wrong.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007


I was still lonely missing PIE and trying to go wid my normal days. Tuesday evening around 930 i sat in front of my pc then 'googling' till 3am or till my eyes drop. I was still busy downloading when my son woke up and said "Nanay today is my feldtrip. Sabi ni teacher be at school by 630am." and I said "Kunin mo yun diary mo." Nathan gave his diary and I confirmed that he should be there by 630.

So I prepare his things and take a bath and since coding ako I go straight to the office then trying to take a "nap"....

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Testing my new phone

From Boracay to Sta. Lucia.....

Nagha-hang na kasi phone ko so Pie decided to get a new phone for me kasi baka daw wala pa akong kitain sa phone na ito pag di ko pa pinalitan. So after dropping off my sister and her husband we go straight to sta. lucia. After almost 4 years say byebye to my 6630 phone. I bought this phone around 30+++ but then binili lang sya for 4 thou!!! my gosh!!! That's why I decided not spend money for just a PHONE... Now I'm using Ericsson k550i cybershot daw... sobrang hirap magdecide what phone.. Before gusto ko PDA/phone pero napapaisip ako kasi super mahal and isang lens na yon.... tapos sabi ko kay Pie Motorolla na lang kasi pang text and twag lang naman... kaso pag bumibili ako 3 months warranty lang binibigay... ( ang arte noh! for the price of 6thou hahanapan mo ng warranty ) anyway I end up buying this ericsson kasi nga cybershot daw... hehehehehe

What a nice feature in this phone is I can post straight from my phone... hehehehehe

Sunday, October 7, 2007


Yndee keep on asking me if pwede sya magpa cut ng hair and Everytime I asked her "ano gusto mong gupit?" she always answer "yun short na parang wig" and this is it. Her new hair cut. This is the second time she had a hair cut.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Off to Boracay

waaahhhhh it's so UNFAIR!!! Lahat sila pumasok ako lang nde... While they are in school and office I was here getting ready all the things we need. Syempre nanay so lahat ng kailangan ikaw talaga mag aasikaso. After packing all the things at 1015am I need to fetch Yndee at school then go straight to Mandaluyong to fetch nathan and ate geraldine then to Makati to fetch tatay and before that I need to buy food for our lunch....

Anyway will continue later.... i need to take a bath and get ready....

I'm so excited for them because first time ng kids to see Boracay and to ride in a plane and also with their auntie and "Lula".

Wednesday, August 22, 2007


"Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense."

An inspirational quote I got from the web. What a day!!! Well what's new with that. From day one I joined lawson I've been so busy. Got no extra time for my extracurricular activities. But today I'm puzzled with the situation. I'll not be in details but I'm really hoping for the better. I really feel sad with the others and I'm always asking why they are doing it? I know that you're also puzzled on what I'm saying. I guess I'm just a bit affected but I know I should not.

Sunday, August 19, 2007

"Nanay sinabi nang tama na picture eh"

The words I got from my 4 year old daughter when I persistently taking pictures of her while she's making "poop". Three to four shots she's smiling at me then after that she said "nanay stop na" but then I didn't not stop since I want to get the best shot using ambient light inside the rest room. I was shocked when she said "Nanay sinabi nang tama na picture eh. Napupupu na ako". I just smiled to her and stop and said "Ok. I'm sorry".

Saturday, August 18, 2007

Nathan's speech milestone

This is Teacher Trina. Speech Pathologist of Nathan when he was 2 years old. I was so paranoid that year when nobody understands what nathan is saying/babbling. As a mom I feel sad for him so what I do is ask for expert's advise. For 2 months, I patiently and diligently bringing Nathan to teacher Trina and with her findings she said after one year and I can see no improvements we need to go back. March 2005 Nathan graduated as Bronze medalist though he's speech is not that straight as others are time will come for his own time to bloom. I love you anak... I love you so much and glad to see you grow day by day..

Family time on weekends

On weekends pag walang office as much as possible we like to be with our kids. Kain sa labas ng lugaw or goto or jollibee, mcdo or chowking.

Friday, August 17, 2007

i love the weather after the rain

"egay, egay, egay"

what a peaceful day for me... not so cold and not so hot... i spent the day blogging around.. :D busy editing the format of this blog ( while my kids busy playing (kuya: psp; bunso: walang kamatayan na drawing; Pie:as usual basketball ) and yet di pa din ako kuntento... ang hirap ha!!! as if I'm learning a new language... so many elements to add in your blog.. nakakatanga... hehehehe

Monday, July 30, 2007

4th Day @ Palawan

We're heading to Dos palmas.. I'm not scarred now coz as the tourist guide told us Dos palmas have a strict security now. Unlike before it's really open and nobody imagine it would happened since puerto princesa is a quiet city. For me quiet and Clean city. Would you imagine that you will pay penalty for just a candy wrapper? first offense 200, 2nd offense 500 then next offense JAIL for 2months... and also for smoking they strictly implemented no smoking area. anyway going back to dos palmas regarding their security if there's a boat which is not registered to them they gonna give you warning. In case you did not listen to them and do what they instructed you they gonna shoot you right away... so I'm not scarred now.. :D

Sunday, July 29, 2007

3rd Day @ Palawan

We're late!!! The receptionist told us that 730 is the call time but then around 710 the shuttle is
waiting for us. Well I just grab the necessary things without thinking what's else to bring but of course MY CAMERA!!!

Sta. Lourdes is the baranggay where the honda bay port is. Our tourist guide choose the larger boat in case for any changes in the weather. Which is more safe for us!!! and MORE IN FAVOR!!! our first drop off "pandan island" there you can see a small community. Less fortunate but then better that the families i saw in Mt. pinatubo.

Would you imagine that island was sold by someone then in a month or 2 no tourist are allowed
to stop by here because of the construction. same as the Luli Island. before it's part of the island hopping but then it was sold to a korean who married a filipina then decided to build a resort.

Starfish island is also sold by the owner of Dos palmas. They gonna built a first class hotel there so next month no tourist is allowed to drop by... oh well.. 19 islands is part of honda bay maybe
after how many years all islands are exclusive to the hotel guest...

By the way in snake island i really enjoyed feeding the FISHES!!! There are school of fish like the one we saw in movie Nemo . The one telling nemo the direction going to sydney... It's really exactly the same I've seen in the movie. When one goes left the school of fish goes left.. I can't help it but i just shout ( of course I took of my goggles ) then pointed Pie what I just saw.

I'm holding 3 monays then patiently waited for the hungry fish but then group of fish came in and started to byte the bread bit by bit.. But then I got scarred cost even a big fish like the size
of tilapia what my officemate is eating at our office. It's different experience from the snorkeling I did in Batangas or Boracay. Just so fantastic. and would love to do it again my my kids.

Saturday, July 28, 2007

2nd Day at Palawan

Puerto Princesa Subterranean River National Park

We traveled for about 3 hours from downtown Puerto Princesa City. (Sabang is still in Puerto Princesa). The paved road only lasts for about 30 mins and the rest is dirt/bumpy/rough and winding roads: a back-breaking yet immensely enjoyable trip. Package tours range from P1,200 to P1,500/pax depending on which agency you book. This already includes ride to Sabang, lunch, boat and entrance fees. If you wish to arrange for your own tour, the boat is rented for P600 ( maximum of 6 person ), entrance is P150 per head, rented van costs P3000. You provide for your own lunch. Restaurants at Sabang is limited, not much choices. Aside from the boat ride, another way to reach the underground river is by "monkey trail".

When we arrived at the entrance of underground you can smell the "poop" of the bats...then later on we got immune with the smell... We waited for almost 30 mins before our turn. In each boat only 10 passengers are allowed. The one sitting in front of the boat will hold the light. The "bangkero" will instruct you where to point the light. It's a bit creepy inside... What will happen when the battery is gone??? Any accident might happened. What if there's something unusual under your boat like a big whale or something like the character in Ice age 2?

Too childish idea but we'll never know. I haven't heard someone tried to dive inside that river and check what's under it. Before going in the cave we saw a group of fish but what else under the when your inside the cave???

Deep within the limestone and marble peaks of Mt. St. Paul flows the Underground River, one of the Palawan's most famous spots. Outside the river's mouth is a beautiful lagoon with crystal clear waters that teem with fish. Running eight kilometers inland, St. Paul's Underground river is easily navigable for at least four kilometers. Quietly, the banca pushed through the dark caverns. We saw but a single beam of light, heard nothing but the rowing of our boatman, in unison with the calm flow of waters. Occasionally, the boatman would motion the light bearer to highlight a particular mineral formation. Every turn and bend reveal huge stalactites, delicately structured columns, irregular caverns, and huge awesome chambers merging at the water's surface and reflecting colors from yellow to reddish brown. Dripstones glittered with amazing rainbow colors, caused by the impurities that created what seemed like a perfect work of art even in the dark. Esitamated to be 15 to 20 million years old.

Friday, July 27, 2007

6th Anniversary @ Palawan

As usual late ang cebu pacific.. we arrived at puerto princesa around 945am. Then we saw our name written in a bond paper then sakay sa shuttle and the driver dropped us in front of the hotel. The room is nice and big and with “y-py” ( as stated in the email for our hotel reservation ). Then we rested for a while and get ready for our lunch. We ate at ka Lui restaurant. It’s a native restaurant made out of bamboo. We didn’t know that slippers are not allowed…

We ordered “Ka Lui Special” — Blue marlin with coconut cream, sizzling tuna, shrimp, talong ( deep fried coated with flour and with tiny bits of squids ) and with fruits placed sa “bao” ng buko. After our sumptous lunch we get back to our hotel and waiting for our scheduled city

City Tour
Stop #1: Palawan Museum

At around 1pm we got a call from the receptionist telling that the tourist guide is now waiting for us for our City Tour. We went to Palawan Museum.

An institution that showcases the history, culture, music, art and crafts of Palawan. Its exhibits shows the archeological, ethnological, collections, such as jars and porcelains, hunting and trapping tools used by the early ancestors, musical instrumental and brassware, some artifacts from Tabon Caves. We're in a group four from camp crame ( as I can remember they are lieutenant ). Anyway got no time to shoot since we're in a group kakahiyang magpahuli.

Stop #2: Iwahig Penal Prison

The Iwahig penal colony is a low security work farm. Over a thousand prisoners live and work around a central village square. Iwahig is a very different concept in penile confinement from the traditional prison system in most places. This colony has no major walls or barriers to keep prisoners in. The main security precaution was gathering all prisoners together in the village square three times a day for head counts. The small size and remoteness of the island of Palawan is the primary factor which discourages escape. Transportation off the island is almost impossible for a prisoner to arrange on his own and fleeing to the remote mountains of Palawan would mean almost certain death from malaria. For these reasons, escape attempts were rare at Iwahig. A factor which encourages prisoners to stay are the living conditions. They are every bit as nice or nicer than any other remote village we visited in the Philippines. Prisoners are even welcome to bring their wives and children to share their incarceration. If it weren't for the guards with shotguns walking around, we would not have known this was a prison.

The functionality of Iwahig seemed communistic in design. All the labors of the prisoners went to support the institution. Through farming and export of handmade crafts, the colony is financially self-supporting. Prisoners also make craft items on their own time and sell them to purchase items from the colony store.

The store was small with half the stock devoted to living essentials for the inmates and the other half hand-crafted goods for sale to tourists. Everything from woven plastic hats to some of the finest crafted hardwood items were on display. Camagong is the most sought after of the wood crafts. We later learned that deforestation has made the camagong a rarity. Its export and import have been limited by the government in order to ensure its survival. This wood is very dense and a dark brown, almost black in color. Boxes, canes, and pointers were fashioned out of camagong and inlaid with mother of pearl.

Stop #3: Crocodile Farm

Stop #4: Baker's Hill

I thought Baker's Hill would be an old-fashioned hut where the smell of wood-fired, oven-baked Palawan pastries would be wafting through the air the entire day. After all, everything in Palawan that I had seen so far has been "authentic" . To my surprise when we arrived at a modern cake-colored house with figurines of Marilyn Monroe, dinosaurs, Snow White & the Seven Dwarves and countless slides and swings littering the garden.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

party planner

a three year old girl plans her birthday where there should be cake, party hats, balloons, spaghetti, chicken and games.

so she got her party as she planned. My cousins gave her a cake and her "lula" gave her a balloons as their birthday present. I cooked the foods she wanted and this is it... Let's have party!!!!